Need sex. Gaining weight.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize