He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
