I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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