Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
