Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
