Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
