Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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