I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
