Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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