You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
