My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
