This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
