if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
