i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
