Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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