could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
