Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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