: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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