well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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