I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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