Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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