She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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