i think my tv is drunk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
