well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize