If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
