I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
PANTIES FOUND
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