I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
