Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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