I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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