You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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