I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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