i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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