I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
