garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
