Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize