Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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