what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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