hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
