Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
