Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
