They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize