chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
be right there i have to get my cape
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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