I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
