Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
