after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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