It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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