I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
