After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
