I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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