If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
