he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
