Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
