just tell him i said nine months
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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