At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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