At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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