He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
