just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
