I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
