shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
