what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
