yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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