I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize