Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
