I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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